remember the highlights

Sometimes life happens so fast, and the bad days tend to stand apart from the good. I don’t think bad days should be forgotten per say, but the learning lessons and stamina that comes from them can be powerful. I want to take a moment to remember the highlights- good and bad- in a way that helps me move forward and reach for joy. I won’t be discussing the five years of misery because those years don’t define me and I’m choosing not to focus on them. I have lived an amazing life otherwise.

My first core memories come from me climbing into my sister’s bed in the night. Yes, the older sister, did this when she was even a newborn. This lasted almost two decades because of the comfort that she gave me. She was just my baby Lulu. And then there was Louisiana. I was born in Louisiana and although I don’t remember living there myself, I spent the summers there with my grandparents and cousins. We were always barefoot, sitting at a place we called the ditch, and trespassing on abandoned properties. The six of us were inseparable. And I loved it. We went on skiing trips and went to Blue Bayou (a waterpark) every week. It was sincerely the best childhood. On my dad’s side, they are from Mississippi and went spent time there every summer as well. We’d go white trash swimming by sitting in garbage bags filled with water or being creative by taking photos and scrapbooking. We also loved to play pranks. My grandma had a stuffed monkey called Huggy Hairy who would always be in some sort of trouble each morning when we woke up (before elf on the shelf). Unfortunately, he got lost in Hurricane Katrina when my grandma lost her entire house. As we got a bit older, we started going on family trips each summer usually by a pool or lake and we still have the tradition today. All of this (and more) is the reason why my family is the most important thing to me.

I went to catholic school from kindergarten to eighth grade and most of my tainted memories are clouded by the religious schooling. I was convinced demons and the devil were going to get me and it goes back to getting in bed with Lucy where I felt safe. I did enjoy the group of twenty-four-ish people that stayed with me all those years and it was admiring how close we all got. The older years were plagued by teenage angst and crushes on boys just because they were there. In eighth grade, my teacher would make me go downstairs to wash off my make up because it wasn’t allowed. The idea that I was the rebel at that school is laughable. Except I did get a D in Spanish that year and I was petrified that they were going to fail me. And after all the Catholicism, I decided to go to a public high school.

My emo days probably started in middle school, but it was still strong when I started high school. Everyone knew my stapled bangs that covered one eye and they called me Mike Wazowski from Monsters inc. I was very artistic, I took a photography course, I started writing for the newspaper, and I started creating my own art that I hung on my wall, frightening my mom. It was probably the drawing of two people aiming a gun at my drawn heart. I became really into football that first year and worked as a football manager for the team with another friend. We made it to the playoffs that year and I could be found running down the field cheering and shouting at the players. I explored love in high school, and in both of the relationships I had been in, they cheated. This heartbreak lined up my next path forward- college.

I went to Purdue University and my entire experience was based off being in Alpha Phi. They were my first choice when bidding and I ran with my new pledge class to the house screaming when I got it. After that, my time at Purdue was simply drinking, laughing, and socializing. Alpha Phi had rules and I would say my group of friends were the rule breakers. No boys upstairs, no dancing on surfaces, etc. I will never forget my first football game when the fraternity we were paired with broke in at five am and woke us up to start drinking with blow horns. I was obsessed with the energy. Pre-games and Grand Prix (a week of strict drinking) were among my favorites but by senior year, I needed to get focused and apply for graduate school so most of the drinking stopped. So did the friends.

It was the day of my graduation from Purdue that I got the email I had been accepted into graduate school to study primates. I ran into the Airbnb my mom had written and jumped on her bed waking up both her and my stepdad. I knew instantly that was my future. Graduation was also memorable, but I got downright emotional at my brother and sister’s graduations. I was beyond proud. Memorable times with them fill my inbox but my fondest memory with my brother was a road trip across the country and for my sister, it was a sisters trip we took together. I loved living with the two of them growing up and I don’t think anyone anyone knows us better than each other. Michael was who I called when I thought I was going to fail chemistry, and Lucy was the one I called when I’d gotten myself into unbearable debt.

Although, I still felt settled in my own adventures and I took my own road trip across the country, stopping at family members houses in four to five states. Traveling was my staple, and I will always remember each trip to South Africa, Romania, Zambia, England, Germany, Costa Rica, Canada, France, Italy, Netherlands, and Switzerland. In South Africa, I took care of dogs that had been beaten and I have spent Valentine’s Day in Paris, sledded in Switzerland, met my hero, Jane Goodall, in England, and given stiches to a veterinarian in Zambia.

Each year, my birthdays were memorable and in time, even my parents’ divorce was. I’ll never forget driving around with my mom while she jammed out to Beyonce, but nothing beats her meeting her husband. One highlight was their wedding, but another highlight was my dad and stepmoms wedding in Puerto Rico. Both marriages brought people into my life that today, I can’t live without. We’ve formed a family unit and the times we are all in one place are some of my happiest. The animals that we had all have a special place in my heart but Deke, our childhood golden retriever, is extra special. He died because he was in pain, and I missed school after we had to do it because I was so devastated. Recently, my core memory is my grandma pushing me toward faith, and I have to say she has succeeded.

I could write more but this is just the highlights.

xoxo